Changing Channels

The report from Mom's recent visit with the Neurosurgeon was as expected. He stated that the shunt has done all it can do, and he is ruling out hydrocephalus as the cause of her memory problems. He advised us to see the Neurologist for further evaluation of her dementia and he will continue to monitor the hydrocephalus and her walking since the shunt does seem to have improved her fall risk.

After visiting with the Surgeon, we went to her Internist. She had a Anxiety/Panic attack in his office and became very distressed that she would not live to see her grandson grow up. It was very intense. The Doctor adjusted her medications significantly upon witnessing this. I explained to him that while I had not seen her behave with the sadness she was exhibiting in his office, I had witnessed her exhibit extreme levels of anxiety and agitation; so he increased her medications for anxiety/agitation. This occurred on Thursday.

On Friday, she was still highly agitated, even after taking the new medication dosage, although she now was mad rather than sad. And proceeded to inform me that there was nothing wrong with her and she wanted her car returned to her.

On Saturday, the extreme agitation continued, and my husband, and son went with me to her house to try to get her to eat and take her medication. She continued with the above arguments (there's nothing wrong with her, I'm keeping her "locked" in her house, and I have no reason to keep her car from her, because no doctor has told her that she is unable to drive) She also blames my husband for "brainwashing" me into believing that there is something wrong with her.
I did get her to eat and take her medication, but later in the day, she called the Police and reported that we had stolen her car. The Officer we spoke to understood that she had a memory impairment and we offered to show him the diagnosis and Power of Attorney, but he had assessed there was something wrong during his conversation with her, and declined. He gave us a report number and offered some resources and stated he would include our information in his report in case she made another call.
She continued making angry calls to me into the evening until I had to unplug the phone at bedtime.

On Sunday morning I went to her house and had a very pleasant conversation with her.
She seemed to have no memory of the events of the previous three days and took her medication without any problems.

On Monday I arrived at her home and she initially appeared calm. However, I noticed that her bed had not been slept in and she had not taken her medications from the evening before. I brought groceries into the house, and took her medications to her (she refused). She began telling me that I needed to bring her car home, which I explained that I couldn't do that because she no longer had driving privileges, she started yelling and cursing about how I was imprisoning her, had abandoned her, turned against her, and she didn't understand how I could do that after all she had done for me. I told her I loved her and was trying to protect her. She laughed and said I was lying and that I was just trying to get rid of her.
I told her I was going to go put the groceries away and went to the kitchen.
Within a few minutes, she had followed me, and continued her rant. By this time she was screaming and yelled "There's going to be a murder here".
I told her that was inappropriate and asked her to calm down or I would have to call 911. She continued screaming and told me I was trespassing and she never wanted to see me again, that I had betrayed her. I dialed 911 and told them that Mom was highly agitated and requested assistance, she began screaming that she was the victim, why was I calling 911 on her? I had barely given the address when she went and grabbed an knife from the butcher block; I ran out the back door telling the 911 operator that she had a knife. She followed me out the door onto the patio, but didn't pursue me very far. I stayed on the phone with 911 and she went back inside with the knife and came back outside without it and continued to tell me to get off her property, that I was trespassing.
The Police arrived within minutes. I explained that she has Alzheimer's and has no history of violence or mental illness, but that in recent days has been highly agitated. They spent about 30 minutes talking with her and she eventually agreed to see a "Doctor". They transported her to a local Psychiatric Emergency Hospital for stabilization. There was no arrest.

It is painfully obvious that Mom is no longer able to live independently.
She is suffering terribly and it's causing everyone who loves her enormous pain, too.

At the time of this post (Thursday), she is still in the hospital, and not yet properly stabilized.

We have secured a long term care facility that specializes in Alzheimer's/Dementia affected individuals, that I feel good about. Though it breaks my heart that she won't be able to live at home anymore. I kept hoping to put it off longer...

Reality Bites

It's looking more and more like the shunt surgery is not going to help restore Mom's memory. I discussed this directly with both the Neurosurgeon and his associate at our last appointment. His associate was more blunt with me (which I appreciated), but the bottom line, is that at six weeks after surgery they would have expected to see more improvement than we've seen (which is very little). The Neurosurgeon adjusted the amount of fluid that the shunt is draining, and stated he would be willing to make one more adjustment before making a final conclusion, but if the next adjustment does not result in memory improvement, he will agree that Mom is likely suffering from an underlying dementia/Alzheimer's disease.

I contacted Mom's long term care insurance about getting benefits approved, and they sent a Nurse out to interview Mom. The interview was very difficult as Mom became suspicious and angry, assuming that I was trying to have her "committed" and she refused to cooperate with the questions that the Nurse was asking her. Objectively, it was sad, because Mom's frustration began when she was unable to answer basic memory sequencing questions. She then told the Nurse that she continues to drive herself to all her Doctor appointments, picks up her prescriptions, counts out and takes her medications by herself, cleans her house, does her laundry, grocery shops, etc.... without any help whatsoever. (which of course isn't true), but was an obvious defensive attempt to appear competent because she felt threatened. There was lots of yelling and threatening directed at me for trying to control her and "put her away, and get rid of her". Both the Nurse, me and my son tried to tell her we were simply trying to arrange for someone to come into her home to assist her (and me) in remaining in her home so she would NOT have to go into a care facility, but she wouldn't believe us, and further stated she didn't want anyone coming into her home and didn't need any help. She also stated she wanted to get rid of all her Doctors and find one that would tell her she was "fine", because there isn't anything wrong with her.

The Nurse was concerned that Mom actually needs a full time care facility as she isn't convinced that Mom will allow someone to come in to assist, so I told her to write her report as she sees the situation, but I would like to TRY to have someone come into the home before I move her into full time care.

The very next morning after this traumatic incident, Mom seemed to have no memory of what had happened, and we proceeded with the above mentioned appointment with the Neurosurgeon.

She has since conceded that she is sick and needs help. I have asked her if she feels like she needs to be in full time care, but she says she needs to be at home for her cats. I have assured her that I will take care of her cats, but this is a delicate matter for the moment, as she obsesses over it - much more so than she has over the car/driving issue. The insurance company matter is still pending, but I should have some options within the next week, so I should be able to start comparing care agencies soon.

It will be nice to get a bit of help.