At the beginning she hugged me, was weepy and held my hand. We told each other we loved one another. She was definitely happy to see me. (Yay!)
But ultimately the conversation turned to why had I locked her up, that I had the power to get her out (pleading with me to take her home), and that there isn't anything wrong with her. She denied any responsibility for the behavior that caused her to be there...and I've decided not to remind her of it since I don't really see how it can be beneficial. It only serves to upset her further. (In the moment) :(
I got the Nurse to supervise because I wanted her to listen in.
I explained to Mom that the Doctor would determine when she would be released and I only want to ensure her safety but she wouldn't listen. She stated that she hasn't seen any Doctor(s), and that the only Doctor she has is the Doctor she's been seeing for many years and the last time she saw him was "a couple of weeks ago" (which is fairly close - especially since we've been seeing him once a month for a long time).
She denied any problem with her memory and said I was making that up. It got very circular & repetitive very fast, and she became angry/frustrated and laughed at me stating that I enjoy keeping her locked up.
The Nurse supported what I was saying but Mom didn't (or couldn't?) listen and persisted with her point of view. I knew the visit wasn't going to go anywhere positive from there so I ended it and left. The Nurse walked me out and was very supportive stating that Mom didn't recognize her from day to day either.
It's just so hard that she doesn't understand and refuses (or is unable) to accept that she has memory problems.
She has a very strong will that has always served her well in achieving things in life...except for now. Alzheimer's is one challenge she can't overcome simply by sheer force of will.
7 comments:
Well, if it's any consolation, I attended Dragon*Con this weekend, and we geeks raised over 25K for Alzheimer's research. That's something, no?
Wow! That's impressive JV!
I pray that the big brains figure it out one of these days and are good stewards of the research dollars they are entrusted with. It's such an insidious disease.
Your continued support means a lot to me. :)
Dez, don't drive yourself crazy trying to convince her. It sounds as though that's a dead end. You're going to have to deal with this without her now. She's going to lash out, but that will be a part of her illness that you'll have to accept you're not equipped to deal with. I guess the best thing you can do is to leave when she gets that way. Remember that she is not doing it on purpose, and that no amount of explanation is going to make a difference to her. I know it might help you feel better, but it doesn't seem to impact her at all. It seems very much like dealing with a small child. Little kids have tantrums and oftentimes the best way to deal with a tantrum is to ignore it, rather than to explain why they shouldn't be having the tantrum. This is not a reasonable disease, therefore, it can't be treated with reason. Her lashing out is a symptom just as any other disease has symptoms for which you simply aren't equipped to deal with. That is not your job anymore. Your job is to make sure she is cared for to the best of your ability. The rest is really out of your hands, as painful as that may be.
Tea
Thanks Tea. That means a lot to me.
I know your background in the business gives you insight that I have no experience in.
The logical part of me understands and agrees with what your saying, and I know that I'm doing the right thing.
I also know that from HER point of view, she perceives the world as having turned against her and feels betrayed and abandoned, and that is heartbreaking to me. I just hate that she is suffering so and am frustrated that they can't get her meds adjusted to ease her distress.
Hi. The image you used in your post is my painting. The images for my art work are copyright protected. Although, this particular piece is a copy I painted of a Picasso piece, this image is mine. Please remove it from your blog. Thank you.
Alison Schmidt
Hi. The image you used in your post is my painting. The images for my art work are copyright protected. I was not asked for my permission to use my artwork in this context. Please remove it from your blog. Thank you.
Alison, the image is now of the Picasso, Blue Nude. No intent to offend meant.
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